Saturday, July 21, 2012

Top 5 pet peeves to do with knitting!

Ok, being a knitter, and now a professional knitting teacher, has it's obvious ups and downs... ok, mostly its ups. but it has a fair set of downs... as a guy these can get more or less blown out of proportion most of the time, but these 5 things are constant and unexaggerated. be fair warned, when you meet me on the street and think to yourself, "hmmm... i could do this to get a larf..." be fair warned this is the #1 way to get a knitting needle through your eye, your genital region, or your jugular... be warned.

#5- People who think they have to enlighten me that it is cheaper to buy sweaters, socks, and scarves at H&M.... Famous knitting goddess Stephanie Pearl-McPhee (aka the Yarn Harlot to you muggles) has often made a point of this in one of her hilarious (and i mean friggin' hilarious) stories. i wont go into what she said much, but you get the idea.
Besides, most of the stuff i buy at H&M gets ripped and frogged to make better stuff! an 99.999% of their products dont fit me!

#4- People who feel the need to bulldoze their way through crowded restaurants, public plazas, and sardine-can subways to tell me that thier grandmother knits... 
-i dont give a fuck if your grandmother knits... seriously! If she knits go and oogle and drool over her for hours on end and don't fucking bother me in the middle of my lace project...

#3-" Boys don't knit"-yeah they do... and trust my marine and foot baller friends who knit to treat stress and PTSD. this is the best way to get your ass kicked... or killed if you make them drop a stitch!

#2- people who think that you knit for no reason-hence they think they can "dibs" your project...especially when family members do it!

Because I have a pretty good taste in yarn i will often be working on it and a cousin or friend will come up to me and admire the work. then say... "ooh, this is nice, IT'S MINE!" first off, it probably a commission from a customer. if you want it so bad, GET THE FUCK IN LINE AND PAY UP! Likewise, being from a stereotypically violent Jamaican family, i have gotten into scuff ups with an aunt because she thought my stuff was so unimportant to me that she took my crochet hooks (and a few other things) and gave sent them to Jamaica to be given away to the poor... needless to say it wasn't pretty after that.

One of my customers bought a shawl from me, and called me a month later that his cousin had stolen it and was being a mega bitch about giving it back, she said she wouldn't because it is "not for boys, it is a LADY's thing"... i responded to her by telling her, when she is a lady, she can have one and slam the phone down!

Warning, the last one uses some graphic language, if you are politically correct-and/ or not from the ghetto (like me), then BACK THE FUCK UP NOW!


#1- The biggest pet peeve i have are those high school/ college girls who see me in public and then come up giggling with their Justin Beiber (or who the fuck ever those kids are listening to) and in the giggling stupid, ghetto-bitch-iest way scream out "OHMYGODTHATISSOCUTECANYOUKNITMEAHAT???"
-translated to human from ghetto-nese, they are asking me to make them a hat. 

better yet, when i say no... their stupid grins become stone cold stares... their mouths drop open and they drool on those tacky sandals they all wear in shock... 
then they say,-"ok, can i buy it off of you?"
i say- "NOPE"
Then they say-"AWW...c'mon, i will give you a dolla!"
I tell them-"The Yarn Costs $16 a ball!
Mind you, every time I say no, they get more and more persistently naggy, until i name my price... about $80...down payment. they cock their head to the side and say- "U mad rude, do u know that?" and walk off...

Trust me it feels good to let that last one out.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

July, 8th and all is well!

7/8- so its been a while, i've finished the shawl, i've decided to only do what was charted in the pattern and no repeats.
i've begun knitting the border, i've chosen the Perfect leaf lace chart, which is knit on with a smart fagoted edge which (is not just stylish) but is strong and elastic enough to allow the shawl not to pucker too much while blocking. The method is just as important as the madness, I am working using a method i learned here.

Lace shawl 2012

Every year, during my summer break, i like to knit a circular shawl. and for good reason! while beautiful, triangular and square shawls are far more popular (and in my mind, more boring) than  circular-center-out shawls, and circular shawls have far more styes that they can be worn in than triangular ones in my opinion.

During the first leg of most of the shawls ive seen, they are increased rather regularly, around 1/2 way they become less frequently increased or about every 3-5 rows on average. by the last leg of the shawl, the edging becomes the most important feature, usually incorporating broader features than the parts closer to the beginning.

One of my favorite designers is MMario, he has taken the circular shawl to new dimensions. at my last count i saw at least 45 circular or center out shawls he has designed!

You can read my paranoid ramblings about this summer's conquests below or on my ravelry page. however, i will not have pictures up for a while, I am competing in a shawl contest, and after the contest i will post all the details. i want it to be a surprise to the people who see it!
You can see my updates as time goes on so keep checking back!

This is my third MMario Shawl I am doing. This summer I am working full-time teaching knitting and college writing.
My shawl is going to be entered into a competition at my local yarn shop in hopes to win some prizes to subsidize the yarn supply for my club at school.

5/22/2012- I'm beginning with a US 5 needle because, its all I've got right now. I am also making a written version of the pattern, rounds 1-64 because it is easier for me right now. According to MMario, the pattern is the same as the Queen Anne's lace after round 64 (QAL round 39) so i will start after that one using the QAL notes from years past. also, Happy birthday to me, i have a full day to myself to work on this pattern, i haven't seen one of those in a while!
-I've started it in size 5 needles, but only got to row 37. I'm going to take a nap and continue it later. the size 5 needles will only be good for the star, then i have to switch to 6
5/23-I have just done row 67, switched to US 6 needles. i am now trying to get to at least row 80 tomorrow, row 100 would be optimal. this shawl is not going to be as large as the others, because i wont have large surface areas to block it like i have in years past i will need to make it slightly smaller, but it will have an intricate look and be lovely just the same.
5/24- i only have gotten to row 71 today, i was busy and by the time i got a chance to work on it, i needed a nap. ive decided to stay with a size 6 needle because after 200 rounds and the additional border i wish to add i may not have enough material to finish if i use a larger needle.
5/25-i have just finished row 88, i am not making quick progress, these rows are long and i had to frog a bit of it. i have not left the house in a couple days so i need to get some stuff together for my knitting classes this summer. mostly samples, but i also need to figure out what i need to work on in my class of HS beginners.
5/26- I have made progress tonight, I am deciding on an edging for the lace, and i have a difficult decision, do i want to do a 8 or a 12 stitch repeat... if i choose twelve it would mean sneaking in an extra stitch here and there. oh decisions, decisions! got to row 105 today btw!
5/27- i have gotten to row 116, i am exhausted and have a headache from hell. i am still on the first ball of four. I will have enough to do 3 repeats of the border, and the edging.
5/29-im at row 137. i hope i have enough to do 3 repeats, if not, i will have to make some slight alterations
5-31- I'm working really slowly for my normal speed. i have just finished row 150, and i might just use up this ball which is good. I must confess i am freaking out mostly because i bought the entire stock of this colorway for this project and don't want a repeat of the queen grace's lace.
6/17-Ive finished the pattern, now begins the arduous task of attaching the edging. its wide, its lovely its stretchy... and its taking me DAYS to do a foot! now i understand what lace makers of the past felt when the had to deal with this. i have 2 months to work on it, then begins the task of finding a place to block it...