it reads...
I have been watching on a daily basis these "It gets better" videos. I watched Joel Burns, the City Councilman from Ft Worth give his, live from the Council Chamber, I also saw the President's. I cannot describe the myriad of emotions which I felt, but I did have this unbelievable urge to scream "It doesn't just get better, you've got to make it better". As someone who had to deal with bullying, often violent, from peers, religious folks, even family members because I am gay. I can say that life has gotten better, but it didn't do it on it's own. In fact, in many cases for many people who are in my shoes, life doesn't get better. I had to endure bullying so bad that I had to quit High School in the 11th grade. There were times, I felt so scared, I would steal my mom's 38 Special and carry it with me to school, just in case I was jumped. With that same 38 Special, with hollow tipped bullets, I would sit in my room, after school and contemplate blowing my head off. I had NOONE to turn to, no safe spaces, no gay friendly adults. There was one time, when a female PE coach, whose name I cannot remember let me know she knew what was up and tried to be as much help as she could be. I was also religious, I was Pentecostal back then, attending one of those holiness churches which thinks anything "bad" such as smoking, alcoholism or homosexuality was a demon possesion requiring excorcism. To top all this torture off, I was a stress eater and a fat kid, with the self esteem of a cockroach. My grades suffered, my weight balooned, my mental health suffered and all this doesn't just go away. I was however a smart kid, always underachieving, I taught myself at 15 German, French, Portuguese and Afrikaans. At 16, when my mom bought me my first car, I got a job at a Pizza Hut in my home town. I eventually came out to certain friends such as Kris, Dave, Crystal, Patrick, a lesbian couple Bonnie & Leigh, Rene, Doug and others. Patrick, who was my manager, had a psychologist for a sister and he was highly supportive. Around 17, I was able to tell my mom. I had quit school twice, both times in the 11th grade. I quit one school, because of the harassment, and then transfered to another. But the harassment followed. I told my mom what happened and she blamed herself, but overtime she has grown to be a model PFLAG parent without a PFLAG to join. As I went to the second school, the harassment was much more violent, much more severe. I was ganged up on once and 3 times I received death threats left on my truck. This is when I started carrying a gun to school to feel safe. Eventually, after speaking to a family friend and attorney, who had served in the FBI. He encouraged me to get my GED, go to college and use my language skills for the FBI or the Military. In fact, his letter of recommendation is what helped me get into college, years later. Despite, everything I did survive. I ended up moving to Atlanta in 1997, after getting my GED. While there I found the Gay and Lesbian Center, which had a youth day, on every Thursday. The volunteers helped me and countless other gay kids stay away from suicide, drug abuse, unsafe sex and the like. There were challenges and the gay community wasn't always supportive, in fact, due to the stigma of homosexuals "recruiting" the young, resources for gay youth were often curtailed as volunteers had to be screened. But in the end I survived, life still has it's ups and downs, and homophobia has not be eradicated to say the least. But I am stronger despite the bullshit life throws my way. It can get better, but you have to make it better, all of us have to work to make it better.
Along with the proliferation of youtube videos, there recently has been several polls and statistics coming out. One of which 2/3rds of Americans have come to the realization that the Religious groups in our country contribute to suicides. To me this is beyond obvious. Because Christianity is so irredeemably homophobic, I will not even consider ever attending a church again, under circumstances. Churches and politicians who pander to religious voters, spread lies about gays, homosexuality and marriage equality. Even Barack Obama, who describes himself as a "Fierce advocate" engages in the very same gay bashing. It's Obama's Administration which compared same-sex marriage to incest while defending the constitutionality of DOMA in Massachusetts. It's Obama's Administration which has appealed the ruling which would have nulified DADT. As insult to injury, Barack Obama only a day after appealing to defend DOMA, he gets on Youtube and TV telling us how "It gets better". In essence, a disengenous and insensitive President Obama pissed on the graves of dead gay kids and mocked those of us who've suffered. Like Lieutenant Dan Choi, I not only will NOT vote for Barack Obama, I won't vote for a single candidate who endorses Obama.
I've talked about the problems and issues, now let's talk about solutions. First of all, there needs to be anti-bullying laws in place. Second, we need to pass a comprehensive non-discrimination law which bans all discrimination based on sexual orientation, be it real or perceived. Third, we need to allow the judicial repeals of Don't Ask, Don't Tell and DOMA. We also need to use the legislatures but also the courts to legalize Marriage Equality nationwide. But this isn't enough. We need to deal directly with churches which engage in homophobic politics. For instance, we need to make it illegal for Churches, such as the Mormon Church, to engage in politics, such as Prop 8, while maintaining tax status as a church. Also, churches which psychologically abuse gay kids should be heald civilly and criminally liable. We also need to enforce the laws against practicing psychology without a liscense and shut down all ex-gay ministries. Ex-gay ministries serve as anti-gay concentration camps, many religious parents send their kids to these cult like camps, which brain wash them that with shame and Jesus they can overcome their sexual orientations. Churches should not be allowed to hide behind religious freedom and abuse children, whether it's polygamous marriages by fundamentalist Mormons, child sexual abuse by Catholic priests or ex-gay ministries used by evangelicals. To put it bluntly, to make things better in America, we need to treat sexual orientation the same way we treat race, skin color or gender, that is to say it is NOT something anyone chooses, it cannot be changed and to even try is psychologically detrimental. All these things and more need to be done, so we can make it better NOW not just say it gets better someday.
Employment Non-Discrimination Act//Call your congressman at 1-202-224-3121
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Employment_Non-Discrimination_Act
Uniting American Families Act //Call your congressman at 1-202-224-3121
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uniting_American_Families_Act
The Trevor Project (24 hour suicide hotline for gay teens)
http://www.thetrevorproject.org/
Petition to President Obama to NOT defend DOMA in court//You may also call 1-202-456-1111
http://www.change.org/petitions/view/get_rid_of_doma_it_is_unconstitutional
Petitition to President Obama to NOT defend DADT and to repeal it//you may also call 1-202-456-1111
http://www.couragecampaign.org/page/s/dontfiredan
Respect for (Equal) Marriage Act //Call your congressman at 1-202-224-3121
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Respect_for_Marriage_Act
American Foundation for Equal Rights
http://www.equalrightsfoundation.org/
Get Equal
