Sunday, January 17, 2016

Bullshit Ethnic Parents... Yes, We Are Talking About It.

Guilty and over-politically-correct white people. This post is directly told from the thoughts of a man who has dealt with, combatted, and has built a community of individuals who will attest to this. The subject is the naked, ugly, harsh, and untamed personal catharsis of one man who has had enough and decided to speak out. Your objections and thoughts will fall upon deaf ears if you refuse to see or at least try to understand why this needs to be said.

American youth are among the freest in the world. given the limitless free time and billions of dollars spent on your own experiences and enjoyment just gives you more reason to believe the world is yours on a silver platter. in truth, some of your parents encourage this as it relates to their aesthetic or sickeningly vicarious beliefs of what your youth should be like. You are the lucky ones.

To millions of youth in America we pine for the freedoms that our families will never understand. brought up under a veil of terrifying and twisted discipline, a culture that does more to harm than help; many students from ethnic families are brought up in a sadistic paradox of society in which they live amongst these free youth and are never allowed to have it. Their parents, brought here by distant shores and form ethnic ghettos that lead to horror stories of Honor Killings in the US of horrific family slaughters. while these are not the extremes i boast from experience this is a foretaste into a problem in American culture that is in serious need for change.


Being Knit Worthy

My Mother is no longer knit worthy. There, I've said it.
As a knitter, there comes a time where the muggles... and some squib knitters will covet your next wooly creation for one of two reasons. The first being that you have no need for the seemingly endless amount of garments and things you knit... which in their eyes can only be for you and not those who commission your work. to these people you merely do it for the fun of it, and while this may be true to some extent, that sixty dollars really helps! while the second type is for the attention they would get for your creations. showing it off at church to your tacky friends and bragging about how my son knits all my creations custom for me.
My first projects for my mother were minor things. A tacky fun fur scarf in 2004, a hat, and a pair of worsted weight socks -all of which she never wore. For mothers day of 2014 I decided that the blue shawl I was knitting for during chemo would make a nicer gift, even though this black linebacker would have rocked a blue shawl over his leather jacket, I did the right thing and gave it off to mom. On mothers day she looked at it, gave a half smile then put it back in the bag. I haven't seen the bag again until November of the same year when my aunt was helping her pull her winter purses out of storage and happened upon it in the same bag, with the same pink tissue paper. My aunt, who is much more crafty and art minded took one look at it and gasped so loud we swore she would burst... and she did!
"Who made you this wonderful shawl?" she gasped. My mother looked up and mentioned that I did and turned back to her Korean drama. "well seeing as you never wear the knitted goods he makes, I will just take it off your hands". No sooner had she said that my mother snapped back, "NO, it's mine. I was planning on wearing it to church." And she did, after almost forgetting it that morning and forcing me to run back to her room to find it.
What happened that evening, was a strange change. She beamed about the compliments and the inquiries of the fine lace shawl. clearly the envy of each lady who came by. My work was adored by the ladies of the church who all craved a creation of their own.
What I wasn't prepared for was the months of entitlement arguments I had with her about who's shawls they were. often time they ended with "you can make another one, right?"

Knitters and the muggles who love what we do understand the time and effort that hours of work can produce. However, the unworthy like my mother fail to grasp this mere concept. the more gauche cousin will always brag to the family about stealing my work and has on occasion tried to snatch it from me... until a nasty run in with a rogue blocking pin landed her with a lesson to never forget. (To be fair, she shouldn't have tried to steal it while it was still on the blocking board-oops!)


Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Mythology and Being Gay, How Real Is It?

Mythology and Being Gay, How Real Is It?

My realizations of how somethings are more real than we believe

     NO, I am not debating the existence of monsters, unless you are talking about politicians... The truth is, for centuries people have been telling stories of monsters and mythical beings. these stories range from enchantment and wonder to sources much more dark and macabre. Hollywood sells us trillions of dollars of stories as entertainment, and even try to make sense of the monster's prospective. But in truth, let us for a second, deconstruct what a monster is. It is a being who is not associated with behavior, appearance  lifestyle, or other ideologies of what being human is. It takes many forms, based on natural things that are misunderstood in our mortal state, the dark, forbidding areas and places like castles (because many were forbidden to common folk for centuries), a fear of places dangerous to humans like the sea, forest, or caves. With the rise of the gay identity, centuries of quiet fears and rumor became basis for violence, slander, and vicious opposition of what people understand about people who are different.
      Cliché as it sounds i started to think of this more philosophically after watching a BBC series called Being Human. A delightful mix of horror and suspense with sunbeams of comedy seeping through. The story follows a dorky werewolf (George), a lovingly excentric ghost (Annie), and a debonaire vampire (Mitchell) as they make sense of coming to terms with being supernateral beings in normal society after they have all lost thier humanity without much choice. Mitchell sacrificed himself to a flock of vampires posing as Officers who were feeding from the near dead post battle during WWI. In exchange for the life of his men, he must sacrifice himself. Annie, was a sweet girl who was caught in a relationship with a very angry and abusive boyfriend and killed in a fight to cover up his illicit affairs. he then pushed her down the stairs and she died in a pool of her own blood. George was on a holiday in Scotland when he was scratched by a werewolf who attacked him and another tourist, while the tourist died, George awoke to a nightmarish existence of being a werewolf. The trio live together in the very house in Bristol where Annie was murdered, and have forged a deep relationship. However, danger in many forms has lurked, from the community, from a psychotic preist, and from all kinds of oddball beings that end up using them for their own needs.
     Astonishingly, Mitchell wants to renounce blood and stop killing, for which he has amassed a reputation. George wishes desperately to denounce his werewolf identity, and have a normal life. However, they can never change who they are, Mitchell is cursed for eternity until he is jabbed though the heart by a stake, or burned. And George is doomed to live out the rest of his life going through monthly transformations. Along their way they meet adversity, in the form of the townsfolk, insane religious fanatics,  and worst of all the fear of themselves. unfortunately as a Gay person this is real shit I encounter all the time. What's the difference?
     I am not going to lie, many members of my gay house are people who come from religious backgrounds and were in pretty desperate areas when i met them... NO, I dont recruit, it's all Baloney anyway. But seriously, in years past (and in many parts of everywhere) danger and misunderstanding is a rampant risk. We the same villagers with torches and pitchforks are now with oversized "Jesus loves you" teeshirts and cell phones.
     As a community people have mantra'd the whole "united we stand" bit, but how many of us really believe it. we fight for our rights but act like monsters to one another.
     What arguments do they make? Biological, spiritual, cultural, historical, and are proved wrong over and over. Yet ignorance and academic hermitage does people in. In the long run their unwillingness to accept change leaves them as out dated as their Nokia phones from the nineties and cold from their cheap nockoff t-shirts.
 

5 -not-so-well-known-ways to go gourmet in Boston for under $10

Ok, we cant all be hipster foodies! You know the ones who live off mommy and daddies dollar and wear the cheap sunglasses. However nice these food fetishizers look, they are missing the picture to some extent. Really cheap and tasty food. Street food is only profitable if its good. And if you are like me and dont want to break the bank you will know where to go to get the stuff to make your food great!

5 Tips from a starving college grad...

5) Want real maple syrup, fancy hymalayan salt, or saffron? Skip the supermarket line and go to Marshalls!- Most of these stores have a food section where bargains can be found at killer prices! I bought a 1oz vial of saffron for $8! Supermarket said 1/16 of an ounce for $16.95= more pallella!

4) Job lot-  if you want quinoa or specialty gluten free flours and dry goods.
you can buy brands like Bob's Red Mill for as low as $2.50 a bag... average savings 60% less than the supermarket, wholefoods, and trader joes!
Stop and Shop Quinoa was $7.99 on sale!

3) Asian supermarkets- not just unique dried things, you can find the freshest fish, meats, and sauces for much less than a food boutique. And some foodie trends that may shock you. The oranges there may look less than beautiful but trust me, often times the fruits are sweeter and more flavorful than the plastic-looking stuff at supermarkets. Oftentimes you can buy the hardware needed for cooking this type of cuisine, such as sushi mats or spider strainers. But be forwarned, do not buy pots, pans, or china sold there, they are often not good quality. Try one of the restaurant supply stores nearby instead for higher quality items at low prices.
My favorites include exotic fruits, giant bags of frozen dumplings, and of course, black-skin chicken anyone?

2) Chinatown- if you want a quick bite, try one of the Banh Mi shops. Delicious and under $5!
My personal favorite is 163 Vietnamese Sandwich shop which is a local favorite for office workers in the area. A standard vietnamese sandwich is filled with meats, sauces, mayo, cilantro, cucumber and home made sweet carrot and raddish pickles and paper thin white onion. The meat can be anything from pork liver pate to tender slow-cooked beef, and even vegetarian chicken (trust me, its my favorite).

Plenty of vegetarian and vegan options offered as well, so ask nicely! At some places you can only get things on certain days, like the roast pork pies on friday from Hing Shing Pastry. These traditional pies are filled with lucious five spice pork and wrapped in a lard pastry. They go on sale from noon til closing one friday and they ALWAYS sell out so come with cash in hand.

Also, try the Big Bun from Coffee House, for $1.85 you can get a bun that would make a Burger King Whopper sweat! Filled with Pork, chinese veggies, a slice of egg, and a small peice of chinese sausage, you can skip the unhealthy processed food and settle into a fresh bun made that day!

1) Food trucks- yeah, they are amazing, and the food is made fresh. Strick safety guidelines make sure of that, plus they mostly advertise by word of mouth and proximity. you can follow them online or on some apps. but usually they are in well crowded areas near office buildings or the common so go early and bring cash.

Friday, September 6, 2013

The Truth About College Textbooks!

If you are going back to school this semester, the bookstore is an expensive deathtrap. Math, Business, Science majors are usually the ones who get zapped by high prices.
Here are some tips to keep costs down

1) Buy used!- Make friends with upperclassmen who can sell you their old books, check on the used sale prices beforehand to make sure you are getting a good deal. Buy on Amazon or other used book sites. These books fly first.
2) If you have to buy a workbook, sometimes the school will make copies available in the library. make copies of your assigned work for the next 4-6 weeks!
3) the library may have a copy on file for students who really cant afford it, ask professors and library techs. Do be warned, you can have a wait or a 1-3 hour limit to check it out and those can carry steep fines for late materials! plan accordingly.
4) Borrow- make good friends with upperclassmen. Return it, and send thank you cards and presents when you return it in GOOD condition.
5) If you are an upperclassman, make sure you lend to a student who you know well and can give you your book back. If its a very valuable book, ask for collateral, something important that they will need back eventually.
6) Sorry but some fields use the same editions or similar editions for years, but before you buy a used edition ask your professor if it will work.
7) you buy a $60 text book and your professor uses it only once in the class. (I had a prof use it for literally one paragraph of the $130 book for the entire semester!) If your professor does this, write a nice email and politely voice your dissatisfaction after you get your grade! Ask upperclassmen in the department about the professor's usage of the book, if they say it is not used much, use a library copy and book it ASAP. CC or BCC your department chair and dean in correspondence and follow up. some professors are negligent and don't care, but it is not the norm.
8) If you have the same professor for multiple classes, such as education classes. ( i had a professor who taught orchestra, music education, and instrument methods classes. I used the book regularly. and i still have them as valuable references for my profession.
9) I had a professor who wanted us to make a binder of readings for $40, i used it NONSTOP and it was a great investment. If you can, read them on your computer or e reader. this professor prohibited phones and e-readers because the material wasn't suited to be read on ipad or other e readers. also, the losers in the back play video games.
10) If your professor required you to read something and didn't give you a handout, you are responsible to get it. speak to the prof, or a library tech about your options on getting the material.
11) Sell back- sell it on Amazon or Ebay. selling to the bookstore wont get you a fair resale price.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

The Most Derogatory Word In Jamaican Patois.

Unnu. (Jamaican Patois. OO-NUH- A colloquial term for "you all". Similar to Southern "Y'all" and Cajun French "Vous Autres"). It doesn't seem like much of a term. To non-Jamaicans, it sounds like a made up word. But who would believe that four letters could be the most demeaning term in the Jamaican lexicon?
In fits of rage my family screams at me when my brother, myself, or the both of us fail to live to their (mostly unrealistic) expectations. this can stem from laziness, not getting a job that they want me to get, and not dating women (my brother is straight and has not met a girl yet). This word is so offensive, because it disregards my efforts in college, my efforts to find good jobs, my efforts to try new things (which, most of the time the disapprove of)
The reason it is really so offensive to me, is because it represents dehumanization. It takes away my personal achievements and associates me with the negative things i am being accused of.
It's stronger than most people would think.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Juries, Public School Music Programs, and Being Hired In a Shrinking Field.

Juries. The single most terrifying time of the semester for most music students. My professors would take us in by instrument grouping. Percussion, brass, the one string student, a million guitar and bassists, pianists, woodwinds, and singers. To those of us performing, it was like being let into the lions den or to slaughter in the colosseum. Many of the faculty were accomplished pianists or guitarists and our talent pool never failed, so they mostly were the obvious choice. One semester a trumpet player won, a few semesters in a row a vocalist would win. One year it was close when Willie (the doubling Euphonium and Trombone player) came in second, but he couldn't beat the pianist from Oberlin Conservatory- which is in the top 5 conservatories in the world.

Public school music programs are not all the same. I went to a state school so we were nearer to the bottom of the barrel when it came to cost of attendance v. funding. My program was tiny, about 30 students until my final year when it jumped to 60. I always would meet people who were coming back to school for licenses or to get a second bachelors. All in all, the main factor for their decision was cost. The flagship campus had the best instruments and the best opportunities, but cost $8-10K MORE than my school in fees alone!

In the final two years of school I dubbed the program the "Conservatory Refugee Assistance Program"; no need to tell you what i really felt about my school. But in honesty I was working with Faculty who taught in some of the best and most expensive schools in Massachusetts. These prestigious schools included MIT, Harvard, New England Conservatory, and Berklee College of Music. One Professor even had five Degrees! Many of the other branches in the U Mass System had better funded music programs with severe runaway budgets, but we had the talent.
Many of our incoming or transfer students were accepted into top schools and ended up in my school because of cost. Some ran out of funding and had to give it up all together.

Paying for college is getting harder and harder and many public schools are accepting some high level applicants. This can raise the bar considerably and competition is a brutal, but effective teacher. Many of us saw films like "Black Swan" and "The Hunger Games" and could draw a paradigm between the fantasy and our realities. Music scholarships, competitions, and auditions are the real Hunger Games; some musicians do live a hand to mouth existence.

In my final semester, Oberlin Guy won the jury and a check for $2,700 in scholarship money, Willie got honorable mention and tickets to see the BSO, and I came in runner up for both, but was given a set of tickets to a really memorable performance of Prokofiev's Romeo and Juliet. My competition was steep. I had grown so much and worked through a few panic attacks that semester, not to mention the burning calluses from hours of practice. I later learned from Der Professor (my favorite professor, who used to call us "dear students" but it rather sounded like "der schtudents", hence i refer to him as "der professor") that i was in the top 10 for one of the eight- $2,000 scholarships and a top seat. Juries are set up to not only assess your abilities and growth, but they all light a fire under your ass that brings the reality of music school into perspective into play.

As for Oberlin Guy, he is 15 years my senior and has been playing professionally for 10 years. I would have to practice more than my meager 3 hours a day to beat him. However, Boston is home to Berklee, New England Conservatory, Longy, Boston Conservatory, and the relatively new kid, Boston University (which recently saw one of its graduate students win a position with the Boston Symphony Orchestra). Competition in the arts is high, not to mention if you live in Boston and you are competing against students from the aforementioned schools, students from schools around the country, and around the world.

In my internship in Boston Public Schools, I happened to be there during some of the interview and screenings. It boiled down to three points,
1) Schooling- where you went and how high you've achieved).
2) Professional Gigs- What orchestras, bands, and teaching positions you've had- we had teachers who worked with the Boston Symphony, Boston Philharmonic, would take a week off and do a miniature tour during the school year, and ran the elite programs at New England Conservatory.
3) Marketability- would you be able to entice students and talent from around the city, the country, or even the world? We had a parent send in a brochure and DVD of their kid playing because they wanted to him to study with one of the guitar teachers. They also wanted to uproot their lives in a quiet suburb to move to inner-city Boston. No joke, these teachers can make or break a program. And no, the kid didn't get in.

Having a degree from a school with a good title, reputation, or alum list is a big thing in the music industry and music education is no different. So while in school use your juries and experiences to your advantage because it could be a hefty notch in your belt for your future career.